Today was Day6 post transfer and I used a First response test. I think it will be a negative this go. The test was negative. In May when I had tested 6 days past ET I had a good line pop up within 2 minutes…. so I guess this cycle is gone..
Really beginning to wonder why I am so unlucky at conceiving.. where did I go wrong? I think I am really dying to have a baby in my arms now and treatments have bashed me apart. I am really not able to bear seeing my friends get pregnant, have babies, see babies grow every weekend, then hear about another friend who’s pregnant again… then she delivers .. then her child grows… then the one who’s had babies before falls pregnant ..delivers.. her baby grows.. then the cycle goes on and on between all of them but I have never been able to get into that loop. So I guess I’ll throw all the clexane, prednisolone, hydroxychloroquinine away and start looking at surrogates.
No more backing down. As much as I wanted a successful blog .. I think at this very moment I want sanity. Today is my birthday.. every year on my birthday since last 3 consecutive years, my treatment results come out. So I haven’t celebrated since 3 years. As far as my faith is concerned this must my unanswered answered prayer. I always prayed for a healthy baby. Maybe my prayer has been answered and my belly is too poisonous for my child. So I wont be able to carry one. Prayer has been answered.
I don’t dine out with my friends or family due to my diet.. I dont snack, I dont spend on myself because I do not work and we have to save for treatments.. so I guess now I’ll just aim at having a baby in my arms. I have to order fake bellies. Real show for the inlaws to watch 👍