Looks like it wont be…my unanswered answered prayer

Today was Day6 post transfer and I used a First response test. I think it will be a negative this go. The test was negative. In May when I had tested 6 days past ET I had a good line pop up within 2 minutes…. so I guess this cycle is gone..

Really beginning to wonder why I am so unlucky at conceiving.. where did I go wrong? I think I am really dying to have a baby in my arms now and treatments have bashed me apart. I am really not able to bear seeing my friends get pregnant, have babies, see babies grow every weekend, then hear about another friend who’s pregnant again… then she delivers .. then her child grows… then the one who’s had babies before falls pregnant ..delivers.. her baby grows.. then the cycle goes on and on between all of them but I have never been able to get into that loop. So I guess I’ll throw all the clexane, prednisolone, hydroxychloroquinine away and start looking at surrogates.

No more backing down. As much as I wanted a successful blog .. I think at this very moment I want sanity. Today is my birthday.. every year on my birthday since last 3 consecutive years, my treatment results come out. So I haven’t celebrated since 3 years. As far as my faith is concerned this must my unanswered answered prayer. I always prayed for a healthy baby. Maybe my prayer has been answered and my belly is too poisonous for my child. So I wont be able to carry one. Prayer has been answered.

I don’t dine out with my friends or family due to my diet.. I dont snack, I dont spend on myself because I do not work and we have to save for treatments.. so I guess now I’ll just aim at having a baby in my arms. I have to order fake bellies. Real show for the inlaws to watch 👍

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Author: When You Cant Give Up

Its been 4 and a half years since my first attempt to have a baby, still going on with little success a long the way. I have done 4 Clomid rounds, 4 IUI's, 6 ICSI's and a couple of herbal remedies. Despite the heartbreak and pain, I am not willing to stop trying harder. Deep inside I feel that our bundle of joy will come sooner or later if I remain patient and continue to tweak my treatment after every failed attempt. This feeling has stopped me from giving up and brought me so far so soon. Hence, I call my blog "When you cant give up".

6 thoughts on “Looks like it wont be…my unanswered answered prayer”

  1. I’m sorry. But it’s still early, so wait for a few more days and test again. It could be late implantation. You shouldn’t stop your meds before beta day.
    But I understand the frustration with going through such difficult treatments, sacrificing so much and not getting the result. Having a surrogate is not failing or giving up. It’s having someone else help you achieve this dream and it’s a beautiful option. After the baby is born, it won’t matter so much. I hope it works for you either way. Stay strong. I’m sending lots of love your way 💜

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  2. I am very sorry to hear that. But it is still quite early so don’t give up until you know for sure. I definitely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes we just have the gut feeling that the cycle didn’t work. I am Asian so I know surrogacy is not always accepted by the in-laws. But you do what you got to do to make your dream come true. I always think about you. Following your journey for so long now I can tell you I would love to help you carry the child if I can. But unfortunately I haven’t had any success so far.

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