WOWZERS. Mother at 70 after 46 years of trying!

This is just a post for my Miracles category for all of us. My sister sent me this link last night about a 70 year old Indian woman becoming a mother 46 years into her marriage! WOW. I have attached a link of this news and I was truly amazed at this couple’s courage, hope and belief in God. 46 years of waiting is not a joke and we all, members of the ‘waiting for a miracle’ group tend to have our bumpy days and get depressed. Please keep yourselves happy and positive. Miracles happen everyday and they happen in the most dire of conditions – that’s why they are called Miracles.


A little beautiful story to share

This is just a post for my miracles category. Today I met an old couple through a good friend of mine. They were a very loving and happy couple and had 3 beautiful grand children. Seeing them made me feel incomplete but something great happened after I met them. My friend told me that this very couple had their only son 10 years into marriage and it was a natural conception! Miraculously he turned out to be a wonderful and gifted son, he made it to the Guinness world records as the youngest chartered accountant! It made me so happy and hopeful when I heard such an amazing story about this lovely happy couple. I hope this made you all as happy and positive as it made me.

Cheers 🙂

Miracles happen everyday and they happen under dire circumstances – hence they are called miracles. Quoted by me.

The ARGC protocol starts – April 2015

I took 2 shots of Humira 2 weeks apart and 3 weeks after the last shot I retested my cytokine levels. It was the end of May already by the time I tested, my TNF alpha fell from 40 to 38 and my IFN was at 28 now. Although the cytokines hadn’t dropped, we were just glad I hadn’t flared up at least like some other women on the forums had. On the side, I also started a gluten free , sugar free and caffeine free diet to help me lower my inflammations.

When the results were out, we were told that we would have to wait at least 10 days to hear from the doctor regarding further protocol. We were just too naive to worry about our time being wasted and remained patient to hear from the doctor.

In the meantime, I had the baby dream again! It had only been a week since my ovulation but I tested and there it was! A positive pregnancy test all over again! Humira was working on me! I had read about some ladies conceiving naturally on just starting Humira and luckily I was one of those. At the back of my mind I was scared of another chemical pregnancy but 2 positive pregnancy tests within a span of 5 months compared to 3 and half years of nothing but BFNs made me very happy and hopeful about my body being able to reproduce. I tried to remain positive but not too positive because I had been through too much of bad luck over the years.

10 days after the positive HPT, AF arrived. What were the best 10 days of my life were pretty much the worst also because I used to be worried about it not being a viable pregnancy and I used to keep on waiting for the doctor’s response regarding my May cytokine results! I had even called the clinic to tell them about my positive HPT following round 1 of Humira shots – I didn’t get to speak to the doctor yet because the doctor was always just too busy. At times like these a patient really needs the help of a professional but it was something I couldn’t get from my doctor when I really needed it. It was a terrible time for me or lets say my bad luck maybe the ARGC was really responsible with other patients.

Finally I received the call and as expected I was put on a second round of 2 Humira shots 2 weeks apart just like before. Today when I sit to think about it, I realize how much of my time was being wasted by the ARGC on a simple decision of repeating Humira – which I had expected to be the protocol anyway. Luck was just not on my side but the hope inside me never made me feel even one bit of annoyance at the negligence from the clinic’s side.

In June 2015 I completed 2 shots of my second round on Humira and in July I retested my cytokine levels. I really was out of luck – I had flared up this time. My TNF Alpha was at 44 from 38 when I had last tested in May and my IFN was at 32. Bummer.

Waited for 10 days to hear from the doctor for further protocol. Finally the day arrived and I pretty much knew what was going to advised. Intralipid infusion was advised and I did my infusion the very same day. Although sometimes I used to get frustrated on the 10 day waiting period to hear from the doctor, I used to keep my mind occupied and calm. There was not much I could do anyway. I used to tell myself ‘the doctor must be busy treating the pregnant patients and they should be his priority at the moment because sooner or later I too will be pregnant’. These positive thoughts kept me going on and on.

2 weeks after my 1st intralipid infusion, I retested my cytokines and from TNF alpha 44 I had come down to 39. Phew! I was happy for the huge drop. Intralipids were saving me for once.

I am sure you all know the drill by now : 10 days wait to hear from my doctor. When we finally did hear from the doctor as expected intralipid round 2 was advised. I had it administered the same day when I heard from the doctor, not even a day later. I was always committed to treating my condition and the lag was always there from the clinic’s end. Yet I didn’t let that bother me and I continued to remain busy with my daily house chores and kept looking on with hope for my rainbow baby’s arrival.

We were told by the clinic that after 2 rounds of intralipid our treatment would start and hence the day I was getting my second intralipid infusion – I couldn’t stop smiling. It was a wonderful feeling , every step I took towards lowering my cytokines was a step closer to having my bundle of joy finally.

I still remember that whenever I would be waiting to hear from the clinic regarding further protocol, I used to have my phone on full ringer alert and even have my phone besides me while in the shower because missing their phone call was like a nightmare. If I used to miss their call even once and would call them back – no one at the reception would know who called me or for what. It was a complete chaos. I had never been treated that way by any of my previous clinics but my desperate wish to make this treatment work was making me take a lot of crap from the ARGC. Sigh.

Round 2 of intralipids brought my cytokines down to 35 and that was a good figure to begin treatment with. It was end September already and day 21 of my cycle was also near. I knew I shouldn’t wait for the clinic’s response which wasn’t until the usual 10 day waiting period, I wanted my down regulation to start already. I booked a flight and we flew to London before they even called us there. I had to step up for myself, enough was enough.


Bright Start to 2015

It was my younger sister’s wedding after new years 2015 so I traveled to meet my family and stayed with them for the wedding. I had a truly wonderful time after the longest while of sadness in all the years before. Asian weddings last for more than 10 days so I enjoyed dressing up and getting my hair made at the salon. I didn’t bother about my hair loss because I wanted my hair to look good in the pictures ha ha and also because worrying about hair loss never helped me so for once I wanted to forget about it. Once again I looked truly happy in my pictures and the smile I had was not fake unlike the times I pulled fake smiles for pictures during the years when I was miserable from my infertility shock.

Even today when I scroll through my pictures of the time we were newly married, I can’t imagine how happy and relaxed I was. I really want to be as happy as I used to be and smile with inner happiness and contentment but I guess it is too much to ask for when battling with feelings of incompletion due to infertility.

It was a blissful occasion for my entire family and those 2 weeks that I spent with my family laughing, chit chatting, dancing and making arrangements for my sister’s big day were like a pure detox treatment for me. I had never stayed at my parents place after getting married but that trip made me realize what a wonderful blessing I had missed on by not staying at their place for the last 5 years.

Getting decked up for the events made me feel beautiful once again and my husband also praised me over how I looked and I was simply overjoyed.

I was very busy and occupied with the wedding that I barely got any chance to sit free and think about my ovulation dates and blah blah for once. I was still on the herb Vitex and I used to insert Cyclogest suppositories for the first 10 days after ovulation.

After I returned home, I was a bit queasy for a day or two but I didn’t pay attention to it because I was tired from the wedding. Then I had a beautiful dream. I dreamt I had a baby in my arms and in the dream itself I couldn’t believe that the baby in my arms was mine so I would try and wake my baby up again and again to hear his/her sounds! I woke up instantly and very randomly made a pregnancy test. I didn’t expect much anyway because it had only been a week since my ovulation, sure enough it was negative. Later that day I looked at the pregnancy test again and to my surprise – IT HAD TWO LINES!! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!

I was thrilled and shocked. I had never seen a positve pregnancy test ever, not even from my treatments and this was a BFP from just taking a cheap herb! Where was this beautiful herb all these years when I was doing those expensive painful treatments??

I was a bit scared about a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage because I had heard about lots of people conceiving after years of trying and then miscarrying in their later months. Anyhow I trusted my Lord and His blessing and kept my faith strong. I was extremely happy and couldn’t wait until my 6 week scan.

It had been 10 days to my positive result and I was nearly 5 weeks and a few days when AF arrived. I was devastated and I knew it was the end. This was my second chemical pregnancy but just having become pregnant naturally gave me lots of hope for conceiving naturally in the future.


3D printed ovaries makes infertile mice give birth!

I was surfing the internet today when this article about 3D printed ovaries came up! I was just amazed with the idea! Just a cheerful and positive post to make us all feel that miracles happen everyday!

Enjoy reading 🙂

Biologists just made infertile mice fertile again by giving them 3D printed ovaries