Where have I been…

I really feel so bad for not being able to document from Mohammad’s first year on my blog. I feel I could have written so much about his firsts and I just did not realise at that time that documenting those feelings here would have preserved them in their true emotional sense for me forever but I feared writing about it all as I felt I could hurt my fellow bloggers who would be chasing their dreams. I am now sitting down just to update my blog. Its been a year and 17 days today since I gave birth to Baby Mohammad.

He is now trying to walk and waves hello or bye bye (depending on what he thinks of it) all the time. He is clapping and joins us amidst our laughs without fail. He always tries to be a part of the family laugh and not only that, he laughs with me when I make laughing sounds to hear him laugh. I feel like I have found a friend already and I love this friend with all my heart and soul.

I love his beautiful hair, his smile and laughter that melts my heart and has filled my home. I want time to pause and I want to enjoy this phase as much as possible while of course raising a baby can become frustrating at times aswell so I am extremely glad time has flown. I stopped pumping 2 months ago and I am so glad I pumped fed my baby for 9 months. Praise to the Lord. We had terrible colic since the start and finally when he was 6 months I realised I wasnt giving him enough gripe water as recommended so I started following the packet instructions and stopped following my motherly instinct that a dropper full of 5ml of gripe water was “Too much” for a small baby. Eversince we have had devoured bottles of gripe water and life has been all smiles finally. Phew

Baby M has 6 teeth and I am so glad he is 1 now, it does get easier. It really really does.

We celebrated his 1st birthday and he is a true car lover so that was the birthday theme. Enjoy the pictures and dont miss out on the cake cutting crying fit. 😂

I sincerely wish everybody had a good year and almost everybody found solutions to their questions like I found mine (in my case infertility and colic). I hope everybody is chasing their dreams and trying hard without giving up. Soon I will be starting treatment for baby # 2 and I hope that very journey is smooth for me and my family. Please remember me in your prayers and I hope and wish you all the very best.


Lactation consultant meeting summarised

I sincerely hope everyone is doing well and everyone is chasing their dreams with hope and trust.

So I took my baby to the lactation consultant in the hospital he was born after having cancelled 10 scheduled appointments with her.

She asked me to completely stop feeding from the bottle, stop the pacifier and feed him through spoon and use the supplement nursing system (SNS) by Medela. She also recommended skin to skin at all times to increase my supply and to help him to latch. I didnt stop the bottle or the pacifier. 1) when he was born he was 5lbs and he really needed to gain so I believe the bottle helped him gain. Hence I could not ditch the bottle -the bottle is my son’s true buddy. 2) My son has severe colic issues so I really need to use the pacifier.

However I started skin to skin before every attempt to breastfeed and I tried the spoon and the supplement system.

The spoon was a complete failure – he spat everything out thinking I was giving him his colic medicine and the SNS was a failure as he does not latch. The SNS is basically for babies who latch but the moms dont have enough milk supply.

So the skin to skin was my only option and it actually helped. The very first time I tried it, he immediately went down to my boob and tried to lick. I took him and got him to latch. This was a success. I started by doing it once a day and then it went up to thrice a day. Which for me is a big deal. So he started nursing for a total of an hour daily. I was happy but I wanted more success.

Ten days after he suddenly stopped nursing again and I could not get him to latch at all. Same crying business over the boob and same frustrating result of not nursing at all. Our follow up with the consultant was 2 weeks from the first appointment and we had no progress to show anymore.

The consultant saw his behavior and her remarks were “Nursing him in the last 2 weeks has made him more averse and now he is totally nipple confused. He will refuse the boob now and its a little late for this to work out now.”

I was really sad but she made me feel comfortable by reminding me that he is totally happy and healthy with his current diet and I should not get depressed over such an issue that wont even matter once his solids start.

I have made peace with this situation and I am just enjoying the snuggles and coos now.

On a positive note, my MIL finally left last week and I feel very relaxed and happy now. I am actually getting to spend time with my husband and son. I am able to pump in the living room with freedom now and also feed my son his bottle at the same time (thanks to a fellow blogger to tell me about the expression bustier). I am also really enjoying feeding my child as much as I can provide, it is my Lord’s will, I will be happy with it.

Thanks to all of you ladies for your advice and time in my last post. I really appreciate all your love and kindness. You all made me feel comfortable about not having enough milk supply for my child. Thank you my lovelies.

By the 1st of February my child will be 3 months old, Lord willing. I am wondering where time flew while I was worrying about silly latch issues. 😂

Much love,


28 weeks. 10 short ones to go.

So it is Me, the hopeless case of all the 15 doctors I visited in the last 6 years to get pregnant, who is posting this. I hit 28 weeks yesterday.

In my last post when I was 21 weeks, I wrote that I would be visiting my OB that week, I felt I was going in for the anatomy scan but I was not. I did not know a special appointment had to be made for that. 😑 So I was disappointed that I could not have the scan then but we got an appointment for a month later and finally at 24+3 we had the anatomy scan. I was so scared when the scan was in progress and especially seeing the baby’s heart pump so fast made me feel my own heart would stop any minute due to the surmounted fear I was feeling. I was just not able to breathe. I realised at that very instant how weak we humans are, just when this very heart stops beating a person is no more. I felt entirely grateful to my Lord for giving this beating heart to my child and making this child for us. This very soul and life for our empty lives to become joyful.

So now I am 28 weeks and just ever so ready to become this baby’s mommy. I have been keeping myself busy preparing the house for the much awaited arrival. Cleared out a lot of junk and made space for the little one’s things. We have bought a crib and a wardrobe and set them up in our room. We wont be making a nursery yet as we want our little one as close to us as possible but I will be decorating the wall behind the crib, which will begin in 2 weeks, Lord willing. Images shall be shared and the gender will be revealed through the pictures 😉

Finally, today I drank my very first cup of red raspberry leaf tea. I have read a lot about its benefits in tightening the uterus bed muscles for labor and post delivery recovery. If you are interested then start 1 cup a day from 28 weeks and increase to 2 at 32 weeks. I hope it proves beneficial and really does help.

Hope everyone is keeping well. Love to all.