16 weeks…

So I am 16 weeks today, Praise is for my Lord. I have not gone to my OB since my surgery at 13 weeks to drain the swelling from the PIO shots and my husband read up on the internet that getting too many scans is not safe for the baby so he is not planning to take me for a scan until I am 24 weeks. I really do not know how I will wait for 8 more weeks but for my child’s health I’ll bear this and keep missing seeing him or her. On a positive note, I am starting to show a bit now and my breasts have grown quite a bit so its pretty reassuring. So now its confirmed I wont be able to know the gender for another 8 weeks so no shopping until then. ☹

Oh well, I am just grateful I am finally able to look forward to this after years of heartbreak and trying. I pray all the ladies who are reading this succeed in their journies very soon. Just dont give up, keep at it. Every new step in your treatment or discovery of underlying issues is a step closer to your goal. I clearly remember when Dr.Gorgy bombarded me with tests worth thousands of pounds, I was about to break down but I had to hold myself strong and just try and do what was best. Although I didn’t gain any benefit from his testing but the testing of my husband’s sperm fragmentation (after completely having failed Dr.Gorgy’s treatment which I had pursued for a year and involved all sorts of crazy medication and IVs) helped me out and brought me here. Be willing to take all sorts of ways to achieve your happiness and you will get it. I had to convince my husband to go the double donor way; I had to be really open minded although if any of our parents find out they’ll probably flip lol but that doesn’t matter since this very little secret and miracle held us together and has given us so much of happiness even before coming into our arms. Praying for you all. 

13 weeks on 17th May.

I reached the 13th week of my pregnancy on 17th May and it was going to be the last week of my PIO shots. However, it didnt turn out the way it should have.

Ever since I started my PIO shots I had small lumps develop in the areas I was taking the shots. To settle them I used to use a cold pack prior to administering and a heat pack later. It used to settle the lumps a bit and although they would still be there, they would not be as big when I wouldn’t use the packs at all.

So when I reached 11 weeks, 1 of the lumps became super big because I neglected using the packs. I had my inlaws over for 2 weeks so hence the carelessness. I also was quite used to the PIO shots by then and my lumps were behaving well so I didnt worry too much. The lump became big and I started to use the heat and cold packs multiple times in a day and it would become small but get big all over again. I cannot even explain the height of ignorance here. I mean a lump not going away is alarming but I knew it was the shots and my shots were gonna end so I was fine and bearing it all. Even the PAIN.

Then in the middle of my 12th week, green pus started to come out. I still didnt bother telling my OB about it despite having an appointment at 12 weeks. The pus continued for 4 days until I became 13 weeks and thats when it alarmed my husband! He immediately rushed me to the Emergency and the Drs there told us on spot that I needed a surgery!!

I was panic stricken. I couldn’t even think about a surgery while being pregnant after years of infertility and heartbreak. My husband and I were devastated. The surgery was to be done under general anaesthesia which had a small chance of putting my pregnancy and baby at risk. The pain I have seen before getting this child meant I couldn’t even take a risk of 1% on my tiny child of 13 weeks! We made 100s of phone calls. To my parents, to his mom, to our OB, to his close cousin who lives nearby and to the Dr at Serum, Athens. My parents called their close doctor friends and his mom to her doctor relatives. There were confusing replies from all. The adults in family and relative doctors advised against general anaesthesia and the OB, Serum Dr. and emergency Dr. said general anaesthesia did have a risk but it would be needed to operate the painful surgery. We were left confused. 

While we waited 6 hours for my surgery and with lots of google search, I decided to go for the surgery under local anaesthesia and being fully conscious. It was a mother’s choice for her precious pregnancy.

I cannot explain the fear I felt throughout the surgery. I was especially more scared because the Dr. had said it would be painful. I kept shivering during the surgery and the nurses kept hot blankets over me and a heater near my legs. I kept remembering my Lord’s name throughout reminding myself how He is merciful and doesnt do anything which is bad for us or beyond our capacity to bear. It took around 45 minutes for the entire thing and finally I was done.

I was relieved I bore the pain for my child and didn’t do anything that could have been dangerous for my pregnancy or child’s future.

I have been going to the hospital for daily dressings and I am in lots of pain. The wound is healing, praise to the Lord and the pain is settling day after day. 

I am just grateful this is over and my pregnancy is safe. After what happened and the fear we felt at the moment when we were deciding regarding the surgery, this baby has become even dearer. Funny thing is my Fil who always told my husband that he was worried for him for being childless and hence wanted him to remarry, did not bother to call us even once when we faced this grave difficulty while being pregnant with our dear child. His mom called us 50 times literally (I could paste pictures of screenshots of her call times).

So all the ladies who read this, please tell me. Did any of you face the lumps I faced from the PIO shots? I was quite okay until the 11th week and it only deteriorated afterwards. Usually women only take PIO shots until the 10th or 11th weeks so maybe because I was on them for such a long time I faced this? I dont know, I am just relieved that the obnoxious shots are over!!!!

Praising my Lord, now 12 weeks!!

Dear ladies,

First of all I love it and was truly touched when I found out my fellow bloggers were waiting for an update from my side since my last scan. I myself get concerned when either of you doesn’t blog for sometime and there is no update to satisfy my heart with so I start looking up for the person’s blog and look for signs of update hehe.I pray for all of you every morning to have your miracles and for your difficulties to end really soon with the Lord’s mercy.

So the update is Baby is now 12 weeks!!

We heard the lovely heartbeat and fell in love with how he or she was changing and flipping sides. Gosh too adorable!! The baby was sucking its thumb and looked like a little baby snuggled in a hammock! 

Please remember us in your prayers and you all are in mine. In about 4 weeks we will find out the gender when I will be 16 weeks, Lord willing. 

Quick update

For all my beautiful ladies,

I know I have been lost and I actually had a draft after my 9 weeks appointment but I quite literally forgot to update my blog.

So the update is that my scan at 9 weeks was perfect and baby was moving his/her head from left to right. We could also see a little limb sticking out. Hehe. The heartbeat was fine and I was relieved, only for the next few days. Hehe

Currently I am 11 weeks 4 days pregnant and on 10th May, Wednesday, is my 12 weeks appointment and I am hoping praying I am still healthily pregnant with my miracle. 

Hope you all are doing well and my prayers are with all of you. 

I hope we get to see a healthy baby dancing here and there on Wednesday when I shall be 12 weeks, Lord willing.

Our 7w5d scan

We had our 2nd scan today and I am still pregnant, all praise to the Lord.

This scan was done to confirm the growth of both the babies. In my first scan on 6w3d twin 2 was not doing too well. So today we got the news. We will be having just one baby, Lord willing. Before the scan I had decided that no matter what the outcome of the scan, I will be grateful as I have never been this pregnant either. Being this pregnant has been a huge deal for me, I couldn’t be happier.

The Dr. said that since the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks I wouldn’t have to do anything to bring it out from my womb. It will dissolve itself over time. He also added that if this baby finished later on in pregnancy it would have caused complications for the other baby who was growing just fine. So all in all, I am just grateful today. I am sad for losing one of them but I have to be grateful. There is much to be grateful for than be sad about and overlook the positives in life.

Maybe to make me feel better the Dr. reminded me that a lot of complications can arise during twin birth and singleton pregnancies are easier and healthier. 

Then he told us that as of now the chance of a successful pregnancy is 95%! Our faces lit up when we heard that. Our baby had grown quite a lot since the last 10 days, praise to the Lord. We heard a much faster heart beat whereas the twin we lost, just lay there. Tiny and life less. With no beating heart. 💔 My heart broke into a few million pieces seeing our lifeless baby in that sac.

I am praying for my baby to grow well and for you all to achieve success and have your rainbow babies. It literally feels like it just took the blink of an eye to work. I seem to have forgotten all that I have been through already. I want you all to know that you all will feel the same when it will work for you! So at the moment do not spend your days in sadness. Enjoy your life and smile at all the problems that you encounter so they seem very little and do not overtake you. You ladies have got this! Keep going. It will work! 

Scan update

So I am done with my scan. It seems that Lord willing we will be having twins! However I am very worried. One of the heart beats is a bit slow, near 90 bpm. The other is apparently at 120 bpm.I didn’t like my ob at all. He didn’t even mention the exact heart beats or the babies measurements. He just got me more worried than I was before the scan. According to my calculation I should be 6w4d today. So why are the beats so slow and why is the Dr. being so secretive? I miss my Gynae who had promised to be my OB whenever I would fall pregnant. Now finally after years when I am pregnant, he just fell sick to Cancer. Oh Dear Lord! Save us! 

Scan tomorrow.. Gulp

So after the 2ww followed a few nerve wrecking days that involved beta testing. Then I had to bear 2 more weeks that were much slower than the previous 2 weeks. Finally the wait is over and tomorrow is my first scan. I am dying at the moment. I am so scared because I have never been this pregnant and I just don’t know what to expect. Please remember us in your prayers and I hope tomorrow is not a sad or broken day….