13 weeks on 17th May.

I reached the 13th week of my pregnancy on 17th May and it was going to be the last week of my PIO shots. However, it didnt turn out the way it should have.

Ever since I started my PIO shots I had small lumps develop in the areas I was taking the shots. To settle them I used to use a cold pack prior to administering and a heat pack later. It used to settle the lumps a bit and although they would still be there, they would not be as big when I wouldn’t use the packs at all.

So when I reached 11 weeks, 1 of the lumps became super big because I neglected using the packs. I had my inlaws over for 2 weeks so hence the carelessness. I also was quite used to the PIO shots by then and my lumps were behaving well so I didnt worry too much. The lump became big and I started to use the heat and cold packs multiple times in a day and it would become small but get big all over again. I cannot even explain the height of ignorance here. I mean a lump not going away is alarming but I knew it was the shots and my shots were gonna end so I was fine and bearing it all. Even the PAIN.

Then in the middle of my 12th week, green pus started to come out. I still didnt bother telling my OB about it despite having an appointment at 12 weeks. The pus continued for 4 days until I became 13 weeks and thats when it alarmed my husband! He immediately rushed me to the Emergency and the Drs there told us on spot that I needed a surgery!!

I was panic stricken. I couldn’t even think about a surgery while being pregnant after years of infertility and heartbreak. My husband and I were devastated. The surgery was to be done under general anaesthesia which had a small chance of putting my pregnancy and baby at risk. The pain I have seen before getting this child meant I couldn’t even take a risk of 1% on my tiny child of 13 weeks! We made 100s of phone calls. To my parents, to his mom, to our OB, to his close cousin who lives nearby and to the Dr at Serum, Athens. My parents called their close doctor friends and his mom to her doctor relatives. There were confusing replies from all. The adults in family and relative doctors advised against general anaesthesia and the OB, Serum Dr. and emergency Dr. said general anaesthesia did have a risk but it would be needed to operate the painful surgery. We were left confused. 

While we waited 6 hours for my surgery and with lots of google search, I decided to go for the surgery under local anaesthesia and being fully conscious. It was a mother’s choice for her precious pregnancy.

I cannot explain the fear I felt throughout the surgery. I was especially more scared because the Dr. had said it would be painful. I kept shivering during the surgery and the nurses kept hot blankets over me and a heater near my legs. I kept remembering my Lord’s name throughout reminding myself how He is merciful and doesnt do anything which is bad for us or beyond our capacity to bear. It took around 45 minutes for the entire thing and finally I was done.

I was relieved I bore the pain for my child and didn’t do anything that could have been dangerous for my pregnancy or child’s future.

I have been going to the hospital for daily dressings and I am in lots of pain. The wound is healing, praise to the Lord and the pain is settling day after day. 

I am just grateful this is over and my pregnancy is safe. After what happened and the fear we felt at the moment when we were deciding regarding the surgery, this baby has become even dearer. Funny thing is my Fil who always told my husband that he was worried for him for being childless and hence wanted him to remarry, did not bother to call us even once when we faced this grave difficulty while being pregnant with our dear child. His mom called us 50 times literally (I could paste pictures of screenshots of her call times).

So all the ladies who read this, please tell me. Did any of you face the lumps I faced from the PIO shots? I was quite okay until the 11th week and it only deteriorated afterwards. Usually women only take PIO shots until the 10th or 11th weeks so maybe because I was on them for such a long time I faced this? I dont know, I am just relieved that the obnoxious shots are over!!!!

What regime I followed to get my BFP

I do not know if I am still pregnant or not as I am not able to take it seriously until my 6w5d scan but I do know that I got my first ever proper BFP. I just wanted to share my natural remedy regime and medication protocol which was the main purpose of starting my blog.

I used to take half a tea spoon of cinnamon powder daily at breakfast for my PCOs and chug down 1 tablespoon of home grinded turmeric powder with water after dinner to lower my cytokines and inflammations. No amount of medication helped me as much as these two simple home remedies. The turmeric powder especially lowered my immunes very quickly and no amount of Ivigs, intralipids, Humira or hydroxychloroquinine could do as much. I stopped taking these spices 1 week before my embryo transfer as they are pretty strong and I dont know what impact these may have on early pregnancies or implantation.

My medication protocol was 

I left Hydroxychloroquinine in Dec 2016 after my failed London cycle. It was very dangerous for my eyes and I had taken it for entire 2016 and with no success. Penny at Serum gave me Serrapeptase and Celebrex instead, they dont have side effects either. 🎉

In addition to these, I took Vit D, folic acid, omega 3 and Pregnacare conception daily. Yes, major druglord! 

Finally, after my embryos were on board:

I had read a lot about it on the internet that it helps with implantation.

Wishing, hoping and praying

-A

Guess who cheated and what happened…

So my husband managed to convince me to cheat and today I finally gave in and POAS.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I really pray and wish this pregnancy grows and lasts. Literally couldn’t wait to share the news with you all. Beta day is tomorrow so I cheated by testing 1 day ahead. Hope this is not the HCG shots doing this.

For all my fellow bloggers, who are feeling happy for me but are sad for themselves please do not give up. It is literally like magic when it works. I remember you all in my prayers daily and I wish we all succeed. Please pray for my pregnancy I do not want to be left numb again.

Athens here we come!

I really do not know how to put my heart’s happiness and the ray of hope inside me in words today. From the moment I have woke up today I feel like this is going to be it and suddenly my heart and face lits up. I really hope this is it.

We are traveling to Athens late tonight and we will be staying where we stayed on our honeymoon. So it will be like ‘coming back pregnant from Athens’. Only that it took 7 years of a roller coaster ride to get pregnant. 😂

The Dr. at Serum prescribes progesterone injections instead of the suppositories. They say they have better success with the injections. So instead of using the suppositories thrice a day I now get stung in my hips once a day. I am really hoping and praying all this effort works.

I am really happy my husband is accompanying me, I used to hate traveling to London for weeks all by myself. Remember us in your prayers.

Wishing the very best to  talesofa30yroldnothing.com and  rainbowmc.wordpress.com for their upcoming transfers!

Lots of love

A

Things are beginning to get real…

I have taken estrogen pills since 10 days and a bit more to go now. We are aiming for our transfer on the first weekend of March so that my husband can also sneak out with me to Athens. It will be a 3 hr flight to get there and luckily the flight back home will bring us back before the weekend ends. Hopefully we succeed this go and nobody finds out about our adventure. He he. In 2016, I used to go to London all by myself for my FETs and that used to cost us a lot more for air travel than what we are paying now for the two of us. Another reason was that my stay in London used to get longer than expected most of the time so it was not feasible for my husband to sneak out without being caught. I also had my lovely sister in London to take care of me so it was always fun visiting her. So now we both will be traveling together to get our frozen one home from the place we had our honeymoon at.

Today was my mid cycle scan and am very grateful that all looked lovely. We are really excited and hoping praying this cycle works. Just 11 days until the transfer.

The nurse who did my scan gave me a baby record book today. I was stunned! I have always wanted to have one. I could just feel that we are not too far now. I am attaching a picture of the first page of the book. Tell me what jolts you would feel holding such a book in your hands after years of trying when you cant give up…

And another BFN…

So my FET has failed…When the hpt came up negative I was not able to believe how unlucky I could be that even donor egg embryos didnt implant inside me at just the age of 26…. Something really worrying and depressing that nothing has worked despite having tried so hard…

We had contacted Serum in Athens last month and they had suggested the antibiotic ritual before transfer and testing the sperm for fragmentation since they didn’t approve of the quality of embryos we had at the London Women’s Clinic. We had 5 blastocysts overall and the grading was 4BC 4BC 4CC 4CC 4CD. We never knew we were to discover more…

Our sperm fragmentation results came out a few days ago and it showed high fragmentation. This explained the average to below average quality of our embryos. The Dr. at Serum has told us that with such high sperm fragmentation I will never be able to get pregnant and even if I ever do, I will miscarry before the 9th week itself. This somewhat explains the chemical pregnancies I have had.

Penny at Serum had asked me to test my period blood for infections and Chlamydia. It is the Locus Medicus test that happens in Athens only. The results showed that I had some trace of chlamydia which could be the reason for my elevated immunes and hence I would need antibiotics to suppress this infection which would enable implantation. Which further means that I have nothing much to worry about related to my diet – my problem is related to the infection inside me. This trace of chlamydia is not an STD. Anyone can get it and from anywhere.. public swimming pools, public toilets , jacuzzis etc. Since I have this infection , it means he has it too and this infection is one of the culprits for the sperm fragmentation..

My husband and I were extremely shocked to find out that our sperm was what caused us so much of pain and sadness all these years…we always believed it was my eggs but as it has come out to be.. its the other way around. Penny has suggested using my eggs with donor sperm but I am very tired of doing IVF after IVF or maybe I am just too paranoid of using my own eggs. I just feel my eggs are too bad to make good embryos. It is so badly engrossed in me that I wont be able to perform well. 

It was hard but I convinced him to use donor sperm with donor eggs. He was just not able to believe that he will have no DNA connection with his baby but after some convincing he realised that I have been through way too much and that I really need a child now to be happy. He feels for me that I have been on hydroxychloroquinine sulfate for nearly a year and been doing painful LITs and IVIG/intralipid infusions without any results but with so much of added risk to my own health. He has come to realize that living with pain and sadness is not worth it when at the end DNA doesnt matter. It is the happiness and love we are missing out on by not helping ourselves.

All the misery his parents put me through… all for not having conceived a child when the sperm was never really tested. Just yesterday his mom was whining about us not having a child yet when he told his mom about it. She was not able to believe it. My husband and I had decided not to involve his parents in this matter since they offer no help whatsoever but he only told her because she was whining against me and he could not bear it anymore that they give me a hard time when I am really not the one responsible (even if I was the one responsible, no one has any right to disturb anyones happiness or give them more trouble when they are facing infertility).

Of course we haven’t told his mom about the donor sperm plan but I cannot explain how relieved I feel and the burden I feel lifted off my shoulders after finding this all out… It just feels like we are headed in the right direction..

We have decided to go with 50% own sperm and 50% donor sperm all with donor eggs. IVF stimulation drugs cause too much of hair loss to me due to the stress I take so I have no intention of injecting myself with any more stimulants. We are planning a cycle in end January 2017 so for now we are just going to relax and give ourselves a break.

Waiting for a miracle and not ready to give up yet.