16 weeks…

So I am 16 weeks today, Praise is for my Lord. I have not gone to my OB since my surgery at 13 weeks to drain the swelling from the PIO shots and my husband read up on the internet that getting too many scans is not safe for the baby so he is not planning to take me for a scan until I am 24 weeks. I really do not know how I will wait for 8 more weeks but for my child’s health I’ll bear this and keep missing seeing him or her. On a positive note, I am starting to show a bit now and my breasts have grown quite a bit so its pretty reassuring. So now its confirmed I wont be able to know the gender for another 8 weeks so no shopping until then. ☹

Oh well, I am just grateful I am finally able to look forward to this after years of heartbreak and trying. I pray all the ladies who are reading this succeed in their journies very soon. Just dont give up, keep at it. Every new step in your treatment or discovery of underlying issues is a step closer to your goal. I clearly remember when Dr.Gorgy bombarded me with tests worth thousands of pounds, I was about to break down but I had to hold myself strong and just try and do what was best. Although I didn’t gain any benefit from his testing but the testing of my husband’s sperm fragmentation (after completely having failed Dr.Gorgy’s treatment which I had pursued for a year and involved all sorts of crazy medication and IVs) helped me out and brought me here. Be willing to take all sorts of ways to achieve your happiness and you will get it. I had to convince my husband to go the double donor way; I had to be really open minded although if any of our parents find out they’ll probably flip lol but that doesn’t matter since this very little secret and miracle held us together and has given us so much of happiness even before coming into our arms. Praying for you all. 

What regime I followed to get my BFP

I do not know if I am still pregnant or not as I am not able to take it seriously until my 6w5d scan but I do know that I got my first ever proper BFP. I just wanted to share my natural remedy regime and medication protocol which was the main purpose of starting my blog.

I used to take half a tea spoon of cinnamon powder daily at breakfast for my PCOs and chug down 1 tablespoon of home grinded turmeric powder with water after dinner to lower my cytokines and inflammations. No amount of medication helped me as much as these two simple home remedies. The turmeric powder especially lowered my immunes very quickly and no amount of Ivigs, intralipids, Humira or hydroxychloroquinine could do as much. I stopped taking these spices 1 week before my embryo transfer as they are pretty strong and I dont know what impact these may have on early pregnancies or implantation.

My medication protocol was 

I left Hydroxychloroquinine in Dec 2016 after my failed London cycle. It was very dangerous for my eyes and I had taken it for entire 2016 and with no success. Penny at Serum gave me Serrapeptase and Celebrex instead, they dont have side effects either. 🎉

In addition to these, I took Vit D, folic acid, omega 3 and Pregnacare conception daily. Yes, major druglord! 

Finally, after my embryos were on board:

I had read a lot about it on the internet that it helps with implantation.

Wishing, hoping and praying

-A

Finally Embryos in me.

Today was our embryo transfer and I am glad that it went well. We transferred 2 lovely embryos and Dr. Sofia and Penny were in the theatre with us. This was my 11th embryo transfer within the last 5 years and I feel this was my easiest transfer. I felt almost no pain during the process and the entire team in the room was very friendly. Penny said truly beautiful words after the transfer while keeping her hands on my belly. She is a very kind and loving lady, God bless her. Even after the transfer I was not asked to leave the theatre on my feet, they took me to the resting room on a bed. Something I truly wanted in all my transfers but never got. Well this time, I was surprised by Serum 🙂

I had my intralipid infusion and HCG shot after the transfer. So this means no HPTs 6 days later. 😦

My testing date is 12 days from now and I will have to wait patiently while the injections keep stinging daily. What fun.

And another BFN…

So my FET has failed…When the hpt came up negative I was not able to believe how unlucky I could be that even donor egg embryos didnt implant inside me at just the age of 26…. Something really worrying and depressing that nothing has worked despite having tried so hard…

We had contacted Serum in Athens last month and they had suggested the antibiotic ritual before transfer and testing the sperm for fragmentation since they didn’t approve of the quality of embryos we had at the London Women’s Clinic. We had 5 blastocysts overall and the grading was 4BC 4BC 4CC 4CC 4CD. We never knew we were to discover more…

Our sperm fragmentation results came out a few days ago and it showed high fragmentation. This explained the average to below average quality of our embryos. The Dr. at Serum has told us that with such high sperm fragmentation I will never be able to get pregnant and even if I ever do, I will miscarry before the 9th week itself. This somewhat explains the chemical pregnancies I have had.

Penny at Serum had asked me to test my period blood for infections and Chlamydia. It is the Locus Medicus test that happens in Athens only. The results showed that I had some trace of chlamydia which could be the reason for my elevated immunes and hence I would need antibiotics to suppress this infection which would enable implantation. Which further means that I have nothing much to worry about related to my diet – my problem is related to the infection inside me. This trace of chlamydia is not an STD. Anyone can get it and from anywhere.. public swimming pools, public toilets , jacuzzis etc. Since I have this infection , it means he has it too and this infection is one of the culprits for the sperm fragmentation..

My husband and I were extremely shocked to find out that our sperm was what caused us so much of pain and sadness all these years…we always believed it was my eggs but as it has come out to be.. its the other way around. Penny has suggested using my eggs with donor sperm but I am very tired of doing IVF after IVF or maybe I am just too paranoid of using my own eggs. I just feel my eggs are too bad to make good embryos. It is so badly engrossed in me that I wont be able to perform well. 

It was hard but I convinced him to use donor sperm with donor eggs. He was just not able to believe that he will have no DNA connection with his baby but after some convincing he realised that I have been through way too much and that I really need a child now to be happy. He feels for me that I have been on hydroxychloroquinine sulfate for nearly a year and been doing painful LITs and IVIG/intralipid infusions without any results but with so much of added risk to my own health. He has come to realize that living with pain and sadness is not worth it when at the end DNA doesnt matter. It is the happiness and love we are missing out on by not helping ourselves.

All the misery his parents put me through… all for not having conceived a child when the sperm was never really tested. Just yesterday his mom was whining about us not having a child yet when he told his mom about it. She was not able to believe it. My husband and I had decided not to involve his parents in this matter since they offer no help whatsoever but he only told her because she was whining against me and he could not bear it anymore that they give me a hard time when I am really not the one responsible (even if I was the one responsible, no one has any right to disturb anyones happiness or give them more trouble when they are facing infertility).

Of course we haven’t told his mom about the donor sperm plan but I cannot explain how relieved I feel and the burden I feel lifted off my shoulders after finding this all out… It just feels like we are headed in the right direction..

We have decided to go with 50% own sperm and 50% donor sperm all with donor eggs. IVF stimulation drugs cause too much of hair loss to me due to the stress I take so I have no intention of injecting myself with any more stimulants. We are planning a cycle in end January 2017 so for now we are just going to relax and give ourselves a break.

Waiting for a miracle and not ready to give up yet.